Day 220.

12 mile long run today.  12 miles, shouldn't be too tough at this point in my training, right?  Well, unfortunately none of my runs seem to come easily these days.  It's quite frustrating, actually.  I would have thought my muscles would have built up more endurance by now, but they seem to tire out even more easily!  I started my long run routine as usual, with a 10 minute warm up.  The first few miles were fine, though I could tell early on that my legs felt heavy.  I really, truly hate that feeling.  I just want to feel light on my feet.  Anyway, I pushed on, each mile getting more and more difficult.  I took my first walking break around mile 7, walking for just a minute or two.  When I picked the pace back up, I felt just as wasted.  The backs of my thighs were burning like a fire that wouldn't go out.  From there on out, I was feeling pretty down.  I alternated between running and walking, which I don't usually like to do, but it was such a struggle today to even keep moving because the muscles in my legs were feeling so weak.  How is this possible??  I should be stronger by now.  Infuriating.  For the first time, I would have to say I was not enjoying my long run.  Around mile 9 I was deep into a pity party and had slowed to a walk to take some GU and shed a few tears over my frustration.  Just then I saw a vehicle coming toward me that looked familiar.  It was my husband, who had been at home taking care of our 4 year old.  He was wearing his uniform, so I knew something was up.  He had been called in to work on his day off due to a bad accident involving a truck semi and a school bus.  He had our son, and had brought the jogging stroller, and he gave me the choice of hopping in the car and riding home so he could switch to his patrol car, or I could finish my run with Nicolas in his stroller.  I still had a good 3 miles to go, on winding, hilly country roads.  What a choice...I mean, here I was having this crappy run, I could have easily jumped in the car and called it good at that point.  Of course, anyone who knows me knows that's not the choice I made.  So I buckled my little guy into his stroller and off we went.  At that point I pretty much decided to end my sour attitude and try to make the most of the remainder of my run.  I mean, things are put into a different perspective about the time you learn of an accident involving a school bus full of children.  Plus, now I had my sweet little boy with me, it gave me a new purpose.  I have to admit, I did do a little more walking when I came to realize about 1/2 way up some fierce hills, that pushing a stroller with a 40 pound kid in it up a steep hill adds a new dimension to your training run.  Hopefully, even though I walked some, I got a good workout.  When all was said and done, the time it took me for the 12 miles today, equated to the same pace I ran my half marathon, which seems weird since I took so many walking breaks today.  I guess I must have made up some time on the rest of the run, so I guess that's the silver lining to all of this.  I also did level 2 of Yoga Meltdown when I got home, and I already feel recovered - another bonus.  I've got to figure out what's going on with my leg muscles, though.  Next week's long run is 18 miles, and I can't go into it dreading the pain, I've got to shift my paradigm right now if I'm going to finish this marathon.  I know I can do it, I just have to convince my body we can do this!