5 mile run ~ OUTSIDE!!

It literally feels like ages since I've gone on a decent run out on the road, but today I got lucky.  Well, sort of, I guess.  Yesterday my poor hubby tweaked his back while playing basketball and it was hurting so bad this morning he decided to stay home from work.  So, I feel bad that he's in pain, buy hey - him at home meant I got to go running!  I had to wear my YakTrax because we had a new skiff of snow on the ground, but I didn't care.  I just wanted to get out there.  I've also been nursing a (mild, but annoying) head cold for a few days, and this morning I woke up with a headache and neck/shoulder soreness which I think is partly due to being sick and not getting a good night's sleep.  These things made my run a little more unpleasant than it needed to be, but I did the 5 miles, and my leg didn't start to bother me until about half way.  When I got home, I stretched with about 10 minutes of Yoga, then used the foam roller on my hamstrings.

When I was on my run this morning, I saw a friend of mine and she pulled her car over to talk to me for a minute.  She is also a runner, and she and a group of people she runs with are all also training for the Ogden Marathon.  She and her group are doing an 18 miler on Saturday and she has been asking me to do it with them, since I am also scheduled for a long run on Saturday.  My schedule has me doing a 20 miler, but I could easily switch it to an 18, since I still have a couple more 20+ runs in my schedule before the marathon.  I have a dilemma, though.  Every time this friend asks me to run with her or her running group, I go through a process of mental and emotional anguish trying to make the decision whether to do it or not.  I have run with her once - a 22 miler during my training for Rim Rock last year, and we had a great time, but she is a lot faster than me and I felt like I was holding her back the whole time.  My dilemma is one of low confidence and self-doubt.  The runners in her group range in age from a 65+ year old guy who has been running marathons for lots of years, to other men and women in their late 20's and 30's, but all of whom are marathon veterans and all run sub 8 min/mile (I'm more like average 10-12 min/mile on long runs) - strong, fast, experienced.  Every time she (my friend) assures me that they all run their own paces, and that I shouldn't feel intimidated, but I do.  And beside that, I have become so accustomed to doing my runs solo, that it has become sort of cathartic for me.  It's a time I look forward to conquering my inner running demons without anyone else having to witness it.  So my mind is telling me that it would be good for me to run with the group, even if I tail the whole time, because it would motivate me to push harder and do my best, but my heart is fighting it and telling me to keep with my plan to run a 20 miler by myself this weekend.

So all of my runner friends out there: please weigh in on this topic.  Do you prefer running alone, with a friend or a group and why?  Any suggestions on how I can overcome my fear and feelings of inadequacy?  Sometimes I think it's just something that will have to come with time.  The reality is, I've only been a "runner" for a little over a year, so I don't yet consider myself one of "them".  I'm just out there to challenge my mind and body, and for someone like me, a former non-athletic mom of four small kids, it doesn't take much to present that challenge or hurdle.  One step at a time....