Energy flows where your attention goes...

Well, I'm just going to start out saying that I did not get in my 20 miles this morning.  Going back and reading through my blog posts for the past week or so, I have to also say that I'm not surprised.  I didn't finish the 20 due to several external factors that are out of my control, and my initial reaction is to feel depressed and guilty about it, like I somehow failed because I didn't do exactly as my training schedule says.  But I realized this morning that I have been focusing way too much energy on the negative things going on lately, especially involving my running.  Yes, we had a huge snow storm yesterday that dropped several new inches of snow, and yes the temperatures then plummeted to around 10 degrees, with the wind blowing fiercely, and yes, I have been sick for over a week with a very annoying head and chest cold, and yes, my hip feels like it's going to crack and break at any moment, but I laced up my shoes, put on my YakTrax and headed out at around 7:30 this morning.  By about 8:30, my hip was just throbbing, and with every step I felt a jolt of pain shoot through my leg, and to exacerbate this fun, the wind was literally biting my face as I ran.  So I grabbed my cell phone, called my husband and he came and picked me up just as I reached mile 5.07.  I came in the house, fixed a big, icy cup full of hydration drink, then headed upstairs to the treadmill, where I walked for another hour, then I did 30 minutes on the elliptical.  All the while, though my hip was still hurting, I tried not to focus on it.  Instead I worked at focusing on the fact that I still have plenty of time to get in a legitimate number of long runs before the marathon, and I refuse to beat myself up over how things have been going.  On this blog, I have always felt it is important to be totally honest, for good or for bad, about how things go for each run or workout, but I'm starting to see that it has been somewhat to my detriment.  Always talking about how the weather holds me back, how I can't run the same on the treadmill, how much pain I have in my legs, how slow I am compared with all the other runners...it's got me focusing on all the wrong things.  Just a fair warning to my loyal readers, there may be a change coming.....