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Thursday, April 12, 2012

Gym day, and just in time.

Wow, what a change from yesterday.  It poured rain all night, and has been overcast, windy and cold all day.  I have really been timing my runs just right lately.  For the past several weeks, Chris' work schedule has been such that he has been able to come with me to Tues/Thurs spin classes.  Unfortunately today he had to go in to work and I had to head to the gym alone.  It's too bad, because he missed out on an awesome class.  Our favorite instructor was there in full force - she is such a great spin teacher.  Today's class had so much more energy and momentum than Tuesday's class.  I loved it and felt purged afterwards.  Then I did about 30 minutes of weight lifting.  I couldn't do all of my usual things without Chris there to help me, but I did most of them.

After my time at the gym, I stopped at TJMaxx before going grocery shopping.  I was in search of some new workout (under) clothes, and hoped to maybe find a cute tank or pair of shorts, now that we've been having some warmer days.  Recently I've been dealing with body image issues, so it was probably not the best time to go clothes shopping.  I don't know why, but no matter how much I work out and no matter how well tuned I keep my diet, I still have such huge fluctuations in how I feel about how my body looks.  Some days I feel strong and light on my feet, other days I feel floppy, jiggly and lumpy - in all the wrong places.  I honestly think there may be some things that happened to my body during the process of carrying 4 children that are permanent, unless I want to consider a surgical "mommy makeover."

Our (fairly recent) regular attendance at the gym has really not helped me with these issues I have.  Sure, there are some women at the gym that are more average and less than perfect, like me, but there are also lots of women who appear so rock solid and have just the right amount of muscle definition and lack of body fat.  Ugh.  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  I mean, in the scheme of things it's really not that important what we look like anyway, but one of the reasons why I work out as hard as I do is to feel good about myself.  Seems kind of futile, if my goals are set unrealistically.  It's just so frustrating.  For example, today at the grocery store, the lady in the checkout next to me looked like she was in her mid-thirties, and stick skinny.  I mean, legs like thin, little poles, skinny.  Oddly enough, she was purchasing (and I'm not exaggerating) 2 boxes of Twinkies, 2 boxes of Hostess Cupcakes, Monster energy drinks, bags of chips and a bunch of other junk.  What the heck?  Okay, judgement aside, but what the heck?!  Alright, I'm done with my rant/pity party for the day.  Isn't this supposed to be an inspirational blog...?

Anyway, I did find one pair of bermuda-length running shorts, but they're nothing too exciting.  Plain black, as usual, but at least they're shorts and hopefully I'll stay a little cooler on warm runs.

Question for all of you: "What brands, styles, types and shapes of workout wear are your favorites and why?"


  1. Don't feel bad about the "scars" of carrying four kids. Be proud!

    As for workout gear, I have a couple of pairs of Nike shorts that I like.

  2. Oh, I go through this ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I feel like I actually look decent, then the next day all I can think about is how fat I am. I TRY, TRY, TRY to focus on the fact that I am healthy and fit and active, but that isn't always enough for me. The hardest part of it all for me is knowing that I used to be smaller--even since having #4. I get so mad looking at clothes that used to fit or be too big and aren't any more. And if anything I am even more active than I was when I was that thin. I am trying to accept the fact that my metabolism has changed and I might never be that size 2 again.

    But it's okay right, because we have four beautiful children and we don't eat twinkies. I have to remind myself also that there are just different body types--endomorph, ectomorph and mesomorph to be exact,and that I will never be stick skinny because I am just not built that way.

    And if all else fails, I go with my friend's motto: My fat is someone else's skinny.

    WHY do we even care????? But we do. I totally get it!!

    (And I wish I looked like YOU by the way!)

    1. Thanks, Lindsay. I have the exact same issues with some of my size 2 and even some 4's that don't fit me anymore. In my head I know it's because I have gained muscle from running, particularly in my legs, but I still feel self-conscious about my shape. I hate it too, and I wish I didn't care...

      I love your friend's motto! That's a great way to look at it.


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