There's exposure in every run.

I always think most clearly while out on a run by myself.  Unfortunately, with my recent job change, I'm only able to get outside on the road on the weekends, which has contributed to a mess of thoughts and emotions building and twisting inside me.  Today while trying to hurry and beat the impending snowfall, I got in a short 4 miler.  I found myself creating bullet-point lists of things I have learned - or more appropriately, have been forced to deal with - during the past 2 months.  By the time I had finished, while I felt a little relief, I thought maybe writing some of my thoughts out would also lend to the cathartic benefit of processing some of these feelings.  So, read on with caution, as you may learn more about me than you care to know. 😏

 Two months ago I left my position at a local fitness facility where I had been employed for over 3 1/2 years and started a new job as a teller at a credit union.  My reasons for the change are too many to go into in this post, but needless to say it has been a huge adjustment.  I now realize that even though I knew the change was needed, I had gotten way too comfortable with the way things were.  I'm still trying to sink into a routine that includes making time for my workouts, meal prep, family stuff and all the every-day junk that needs to be done, while working a strict Monday through Friday 9-6 job.   Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm am someone who thrives on habit, schedules and routine.  My choice to make this transition has affected me and my family in more ways than I anticipated.  I'm pretty sure my kids have been a lot more flexible and resilient than I have been, and if it weren't for the support of my husband, I probably would have had a "get in the car and drive up the coast" moment.  And here's the big thing I've come to realize...it doesn't matter how old we get, how much we've experienced or what station we are in life - we are never immune to being humbled, never too old to learn and grow and never past feeling deeply when going through these transient ups and downs in life.

When I was a kid, I went through a traumatic and emotional time period after being regularly abused by a family friend.  Experiencing something like that changes you, molds you, creates your future tendencies in relationships and in how you value yourself.  And it doesn't matter how much you work on moving past it, or how (relatively) healthy and functional you think you become as a result of that work, it still seems to creep in, rearing it's ugly head in ways you wish you could ignore.  Sometimes I get mad - wondering if the things I hate most about myself and how I interact with others is a result of what was done to me...then I give myself a metaphorical slap in the face as a reminder that I am responsible for every damn thought, feeling and action I experience - we all have the ability to change things about ourselves.  I can't place blame on anyone or anything else for the decisions I make.  Life is just one continual growth process, where we learn and move on, or repeat old cycles and get stuck.  And just like everyone else, there have been times I have allowed myself to get stuck, and times I have done everything I can to break free and start a new path.

So here I am in my 40's, after making a life-altering career change, contemplating how well my time has been spent, how I've treated people, how I could be different or make things better, what else I need to learn or if I have something to teach.  All while feeling like I'm doing the best I can with what I have.

Why are mistakes repeated? Why have I put confidence in the most random and untrustworthy people, while being the most critical, doubting and impatient with the people I should love, trust and cherish the most?  It's important to me to make deep connections with a select few in life and not spread myself thin - that has always been my M.O. I'm not sure that's a good thing, because when things get rough with one, it can become a very lonely and introspective place.  It makes me sad that the character traits  that make me who I am, are what I find myself questioning whenever something doesn't go to plan.

What I am - sensitive, I can't stand when people are mad at me, I overthink every fucking thing, I have high-expectations of people and things - including myself, I have social anxiety and am uncomfortable in group settings, I prefer one-on-one interaction, I'm a rule follower, I need to feel valued and praised. Are these all bad traits? They sound bad when you list them out like this.

What I would change  - I wish that I was emotionally stronger and didn't give a shit what other people think about me and was more flexible and forgiving - of others and myself. I wish I could let things roll off my back instead of harping on and reliving every little thing. I want to be able to relinquish control over some of the things I obsess over.  I wish I laughed more and cried less, and I wish I didn't dance like a dorky white girl.  That last one would be a life-changer. :)

So this is what I was thinking about on my run today: relationships are fragile, life is fragile, people are important, self-reflection is important, change is necessary, forgiveness is necessary, love is what matters most.  Forget yourself and get out of your own head. Invest in those who give you all of these things in return.  Appreciate the ones who stand by you, despite what they have to go through to be with you.  It's a lot.  I wish I could have run longer.  There's not much resolution or closure, so I guess it's a good thing I can always go for another run. At least that is my goal, to forever be able to go for another run.

Mesa Falls Marathon - lucky 13!

Miles and miles have gone by and once again I find the thing that gets pushed to the backburner is my blog.  But last weekend I ran my 13th marathon and it was such a sweet experience that I knew I needed to record it.

I have continued to be quite busy with my job as a manager for a local gym.  My two friends (the owners) and I have been working hard for well over a year, doing what needs to be done to make this new, small business flourish and grow into (hopefully) a bigger, more prosperous business.  It's a lot of hours, and sometimes fun but also stressful and draining.  So what do I continue to return to for my stress-relief and sanity?  Running, of course.  And for me, it's the distance running that does it for me the most.

So while it has gotten a bit more tricky to balance my kids' and husband's schedules with working full-time hours at the gym, doing a bit of personal training and teaching Spinning classes, I must make time for running and training.  This has meant getting up at 5am (sometimes 4am) 6 days a week in order to fit in my runs.

I have been able to consistently do this for months and so around the beginning of July I decided I wanted to find a new race to do where I could materialize my personal gains.  I had heard about the Mesa Falls Marathon from some friends.  It's a small race that starts up in the mountains of eastern Idaho and works it's way down, covering multiple types of terrain down into the small town of Ashton, Idaho.



We went up to the area, about a 2 hour drive, to explore the race course and surrounding campgrounds about a month before the late August race.  The week of the race, we took the family and our camp trailer and headed up on Thursday morning.  We found a campsite right at mile 2 of the race course.  We set up camp and then spent the rest of the day and most of Friday just exploring the forest, relaxing by a campfire and watching the kids run around and play.  This was how I made it through my taper without going crazy. :)

With a rash of wild fires across the western states, the air quality was poor and thick with smoke.  I didn't worry too much about it.  Saturday morning I woke up at 5 and ate and got dressed and ready.  The full marathon started at 6:30, so Chris drove me up to the starting line area at 6:15.  It was about 38* and felt pretty dang cold.  It really was a small race - less than 200 people running the full marathon.  It was an informal start - after the race director said a few words, we got going.  I didn't know anyone there, so I had taken my headphones and iPod shuffle with me, but didn't use them from the start.  The first 9 miles was on a packed gravel road through the forest.  I utilized the Galloway method with a run to walk ratio of 5 minutes running, 1 minute walking.  I stuck with this from beginning to end of this race.  We started in the dark, but as the sun came up there was a beautiful sunrise, the color of the sun made more intense by the smoke and haze in the air.

I felt really good for the first 9 miles on the gravel, at which point we headed out to the main highway and ran on the pavement for approximately 4 miles.  At mile 11, there was a jaunt off the side of the highway that took the runners down near the overlook for the lower Mesa Falls, then a short trail back out to the main road.  The half-way point began a trail portion of the race.  It's an old railroad grade, so the trail, while somewhat narrow, was smooth and mostly downhill.  After passing through the aid station at mile 13 and then starting on the trail, I was still feeling really decent - not too fatigued and still in a good place mentally.  Around mile 15 though, something hit me and suddenly my legs were aching and heavy in a way I hadn't experienced on any recent long runs.  I was also feeling a sore throat and headache, most likely due to the smoky air.  I told myself that the heaviness in my legs was due to having run those first 9 miles on gravel, something I wasn't used to doing.  From this point on I knew it was going to be a mental game for me.  The trail ended as it exited through a campground and then back out onto the main highway.  Chris and the kids were there to cheer me on.  At mile 17 began the next challenge: 3 miles of continuous uphill.

Chris joined me for a few minutes to help talk me out of my funk.  It actually did help take my mind off the pain I was feeling in my legs and back.  It was sheer force of will that kept me going; I maintained a steady pace and stuck with my 5:1 run/walk method.  I took out my earbuds and turned on my music to help keep me focused.  I passed quite a few people who had resorted to walking the stretch of uphill and with each person I passed, the illusion of my strength was slowly increased.

 

Eventually the hill topped out and we were left with a stretch of just over 6 miles of rolling hills and farmland.  The last challenge of this race for me was to push through that part without slowing so much that it would bring my overall average pace down a lot.  With 4 miles to go and one last "push" from Chris and the kids, I made my way into Ashton and to the finish line.

 

 I heard the announcer say my name and I crossed the finish, with no idea what my time was.  When I finally looked at the clock I saw my time, 4:45.  I had hoped to reach a possible PR on this run, but my best time on the marathon was 2 years ago with a time of 4:34, so I didn't quite make it.  But with an average pace of 10:50 min/mile for this one, I felt content.

 

After heading over to the food tables for a chocolate milk and some ice water, I made my way to the computer stations they had set up where we could review our placing.  Now I have never run a race where I had any hopes of placing, but being that I turned 40 earlier this year and was now in a new age-group, and that this was a smaller race, well I thought I might just have a chance...

 

How about that??  I was so stoked to have done well enough to receive a placing and a plaque, that the pain and fatigue in my body was dulled...sort of.  :)

 

We camped one more night before heading home the next day.  Back at our campground that evening, while Chris cooked up some awesome steaks on the grill for our dinner, I soaked my aching feet and legs in the frigid water of the deceivingly named Warm River.  By and far the Mesa Falls Marathon was one of the highlights of my distance running career.  I would definitely like to return in another year to run it again when there hopefully isn't any smoke in the air.  I have heard you can usually see the Tetons from the race course...that would have been something.

 

 

My next challenge is coming up this week.  I will be running another marathon on Saturday September 5th.  The Pocatello Marathon has become a tradition for me - this will be my 6th time "Running the Gap".  But this year I have devoted several of my training runs to running with my friend Johanna.  Johanna will be running the Pocatello Marathon as well, but this will be her first full marathon and I am invested in seeing her through to the end.  So for this one, while I pace my friend, the challenge for me will be seeing how my body handles running two marathons so close together.  And I am equally excited about being privileged to be able to experience the satisfaction and thrill that comes with completing a first marathon - I can't wait to see Johanna accomplish her goal!







Fall runs are the best!

Somehow it's already been 7 weeks since the Pocatello Marathon.  Surprisingly, I've felt better on most of my runs since then than I did leading up to the race.  The most I've done in terms of long runs, has been 12 miles.  It's been hard for me to even find a day when I can make enough time to do a run that long.  I have been working on my shorter runs and have been doing sprints on the treadmill at least twice a week, but this morning I really felt like getting out on the road and enjoying the fall weather before things turn.

Yesterday we took the kids to an amusement park and so coming off spending about 11 hours footing it around following them  from ride to ride, I wasn't sure how I'd feel trying to run long.  I'm also 2 weeks into a keto-run and so haven't had any carbs or sugar for a while.

I set out around noon, which is kind of a late start, but I was just too tired to start any earlier.  I decided I was going to run from my house to the gym, which is around 14 miles, where my husband planned to meet me and we would lift weights for a bit before coming back home.

Right from the start I could feel my muscles aching and totally sapped of energy.  But of course I pushed through and tried to ignore how tired I felt.  Around mile 10.5, Chris drove by me and while I really wanted to make it all the way to the gym, I was so weak that I knew that trying to go another few miles would just be counter-productive.  So I jumped in the car with him and we went on to the gym where I did a less than stellar shoulder workout.

I guess sometimes all that matters is getting out there and spending time doing something that's enjoyable, but difficult and that's where the satisfaction comes.  Plus, it's so freaking beautiful outside right now!

Never say never.

Once more I find myself on the eve of another 26.2 mile race.  Tomorrow morning I will set out to conquer the elusive distance again, my 5th time doing the Pocatello Marathon, after pushing through the past year of less than stellar training.  To say I don't feel totally prepared is a bit of an understatement, so I will be relying on my body's memory from races and training seasons past to get me through.

My last race was a half-marathon last November, which I PR-ed, but since then I have experienced a lot of changes in my life and running has taken a back seat to everything else going on.  I have never completely stopped running, but I definitely haven't done as many miles or long runs as I have in preparation for my previous races.

I lean heavily on the inspiration I have found through reading the books of ultra marathoner Dean Karnazes - once you have done it, you have it in you.  So despite some of these "life" things I have gone through the past year - taking on more responsibility and hours at work, changing jobs, surgery, putting our house on the market and trying to get moved, dealing with a back injury - tomorrow I plan to follow this advice...

And thankfully I will have the added support of running with my good pal Lisa, who has experienced training setbacks of her own this year.  Together we will cross the finish line having once more conquered something so physically demanding that most people will never even attempt it in their lifetime.  Sometimes having your best race time isn't at all about the finish "time".

When the road beckons.

Just me and the Portneuf Gap. :)

Something funny happened when I was with my family swimming at a water park last week.  A lady came up to me and said, "This might seem like a really weird question, but are you the Redheaded Road Runner?"

Haha!  It kind of took me off guard.  Not that it's uncommon to see people we know at the pool, since it's only 30 minutes from where we live, but she and I had no real common friends to speak of, so this reminded me that people I don't know actually DO read my blog!  And I have been a total slacker lately when it comes to blogging...and running!

My back has been in a state of agitation for a couple of months now and nothing I do seems to alleviate it.  I have become a serious wimp about it and have not done much running because of it.  But I decided that it was time for me to push myself again and just get out there on the road.  I am, after all, signed up for a marathon that is just about 6 weeks away!

So this morning after getting one of my boys off to scout camp, I headed out to run a loop that took me 12 miles in the heat, sun and wind.  My time was slow, but I enjoyed being out there again.  I stopped to take pictures - like the above selfie and this cute one of a pair of fawns (there are two there, one is hidden behind the shrub)!

I have been allowing myself to get wrapped up in the idea that if I can't run fast, then why bother.  Which is weird for me, since I've never been very fast anyway.  Over time, I have gained more and more "runner friends".  So many of them tell me, "I'm not competitive at all, I just run for fun.  I don't even care how fast I am."  Until we run together, or they run in groups.  Then suddenly if they can't keep a sub-9 minute mile pace, then life's not worth living. ;)

So today I'm just going to convince myself to be content with my 11+ minute per mile pace and revel in the fact that I made it 12 miles...and I'm still able to walk. :)

Maybe someday I will find a running companion that is on par with me and my comfortable pace, but if not, I will just continue my journey on the road as I always have.

Summer Slim-Down Challenge ~ who's in??!!

It's challenge time!!! Who is ready to BRING IT?! Open to all our peeps and newbies, too!! MAJOR PRIZES to the winners!! $300 Grand Prize... First prize winner gets the swimsuit of your choice from Athleta and Second prize winner takes home some awesome nutrition shakes! Registration ends June 1st!!

Here's the details:

To participate, you must order 150 BV (30 Day Cleansing and Fat Burning Systmem or larger), OR if you just ordered, you can bring a friend along for the ride and that will qualify you. Orders must be placed by June 1st. Take and submit before pictures and also before weight. Everything will be kept confidential!!! Share contest picture on your own FB page! All participants will be added to a private group FB page with recipes, work out tips, motivation, etc. Winners will be the top three people that lose the biggest percentage of body weight.

For product info or to place your order, email me or check out my website!

Once you've ordered, your contest entries to be submitted to: Lindsay

How to be your best self...

Whether you already consider yourself an athlete, or are just looking to enhance or increase your performance at any level, how you fuel your body is one of the most important components.  I am super excited my friend introduced me to Isagenix a few months ago.  I have seriously never felt better and more than anything, I love how much energy I have, how much less stress I feel, and how that translates into fewer illnesses, a happier mood and higher productivity.  Watch this video...these athletes are amazing - and they are REAL people!  I especially love how they all point out that if you have the drive and passion, you can achieve it.  Our bodies thrive on whole food, powerful nutrition.

Wish some things wouldn't change.

Life seems to be centered around doing the everyday little (and sometimes big) things that will hopefully, eventually bring about positive change.  For example, yesterday I made an attempt at a more 'normal'  (for me) workout routine: I lifted weights first thing in the morning for about an hour, then I did a spin class, and a couple of hours later I did a Muscle Fusion class.  This morning as I forced myself to get in 30 minutes on the treadmill before work, I realized how painful those changes can be!  I like the pain from muscle soreness, though.  That's how you know you are making gains.

On the other hand, I don't like thinking about how much and how quickly our children grow and change.  Tonight I took my 8 year old with me to the park to go for a walk.  That little guy happily and swiftly hung in there with me for 6 miles!  Some of the time we were each listening to our  music, some of the time we were chatting - and believe me, that kid loves to talk.  And I think he told me he loves me about 10 times during the hour and 20 minutes we were walking.  I hope he doesn't change.

Nothing to fear.

Nothing in life is truly constant.  Everyone knows that.  And while my running "career" seemed relatively consistent for a pretty decent stretch (and with that, my blogging!!), changes in the world around me have made it impossible for me to sustain that level of consistency.  I have had to learn to embrace - not fear - the change.

It would be crazy for me to give a full recap of everything that has gone on over the past 8 or 9 months, but I will try to at least catch you up on what is relevant in terms of this blog...

My last full marathon was the Pocatello Marathon last fall.  After doing that race, I re-grouped with my trainer and decided to cut back on running and focus on building muscle and strength.  From the beginning of September through the beginning of November, I did little more than 5 or 6 miles for my longest runs and was really only running once or twice a week.  Instead, I was supplementing with cardio sessions of spinning classes and other forms of cross-training, while mainly focusing on lifting weights.  I was also trying something new with my diet at that time and had incorporated some keto-runs into my routine in an attempt to lose body fat (and I got down to about 17%).

Every November there is a local half-marathon that my husband and I have been involved with for a few years, but since I had not been running as much, I didn't plan to run it in 2013...until about 5 days before the race when my trainer asked if I wanted to run it with her and I said, what the heck?

Riding the bus up to the start with Misty, I had no idea how my body was going to handle running 13.1 miles without having done adequate training, but honestly I wasn't too concerned with time or pace.  I just planned to enjoy it.  Turns out, the break from running must have done my body good - I got my half-marathon PR on that race, finishing with a time of 2:03:29!

After the half-marathon, I continued on with a minimal amount of training runs, especially as the weather turned colder and much less runner-friendly.  For a few weeks in February and March I was able to get in some long runs, 12-15 miles at a time.

Most of the other changes circulating through my little world during this time didn't actually have anything to do with running.  In December, I attended a workshop taught by a dear friend and received my certification to teach indoor cycling.  That was something I had wanted to do for a long time, and am glad to now have that under my belt.

In the meantime, my job at the gym has become increasingly predominant in my life.  I was spending more and more time not only working my own shifts, but covering for other people.  So when the front desk director gave her two-week notice at the beginning of January, I was asked to replace her and have since been working as the director.  That has meant even more hours, hiring and training staff, and doing the schedule for the 7 employees that work under me.  While I enjoy working at the gym, I have struggled somewhat with balancing my time there with time at home with the kids and Chris and keeping up on things around the house, and still having enough time to work out as much as I'd like.

In March I was able to take about a week off from work - not for a vacation, unfortunately - but to have a couple of surgical procedures done to "fix" a few things that have been bothering me since having our four children, losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off.  Chris took some time off from his job as well and stayed home to take care of me and the kids so I could rest and heal up.  I was back to work full-time the next week and back to working out by the third week post-op.  This past week was my first full week of an almost normal workout schedule and I have been feeling pretty amazing.  Spinning classes, Muscle Fusion X, running stairs at the stadium and even a 5 mile run with Chris yesterday.

So today I sit here, on my rest day, feeling sore and happy.  The weather is starting to turn (warmer) and I am feeling a renewed eagerness to start getting more serious with a training schedule.  After all, I am signed up for a marathon at the end of the summer and I think it's time to start a countdown.  Besides, there are always new things on the horizon for us...and my kids are all healthy, Chris and I are healthy and happy...so life is good. :)

It's about time ~ Pocatello Marathon 2013 race recap!

It's the end of another marathon training season for me and while I'm sad to not have a current goal race, I have to admit I'm a little excited about the prospect of being able to focus on other fitness-related goals for a while.  I only had 3 months between the Ogden Marathon and Pocatello, which was plenty of time for getting in adequate training and lots of long runs.  I had high hopes for this race; it was to be my "A" race for the year.  I would have liked to have done at least a little better than my PR (4:36), which was on this same race last year.  My training consisted of doing two 18-milers, two 20-milers and I even ran the full marathon course (it actually ended up being about 26.6 miles) 3 weeks before the actual race.  So, when the race started and I immediately felt pain in my lower back and in both my hamstrings, I was already worried that my goal would be out of reach.

It was a beautiful morning, almost a little too warm.  With temps around 50 degrees at the 6:15am race start and sunny skies, it didn't take long before it just felt hot.  The first half of the course is mostly downhill, which is fun, but tricky.  It's so easy to go out too fast and then pay for it later on in the race.  I tried to pace myself, and thought I was doing well, having reached the half-way point at about 2 hours 12 minutes.  I knew then that I had enough left in me to finish the second half at a consistent pace, but it would be a slower pace than I had hoped to maintain.  I think around mile 19 or so, as I was greeted by my husband who had lovingly brought me a Coke to sip on and was taking a few photos, the thought came into my mind that I was just going to enjoy the rest of the run.  He let me know how much ahead of me my friends were who were also running the race...my response to him was, "It's okay, I don't care.  I'm just running my own race.  I'm having fun."

Heading into the last couple of miles, I actually felt a little burst of energy and was able to mentally move past the pain I was feeling in my legs.  I tried to push myself, but I knew it wouldn't have much effect on my overall time.  I finished my race in 4:53 - an 11:07 min/mile pace, which was about 20 minutes overall slower than my goal.  I'm alright with it, though.  I'm happy that I can say that I ran another marathon and still want to run more in the future. :)

Some of my loyal readers may have been wondering why I've been MIA for the past couple of months...well, between the marathon training, working my job at the gym 30+ hours a week and trying to find time to do fun things with the kids during their summer break, my blog writing has taken a back seat.  Now that the kids are back in school, I will still be committed to a rigorous training schedule and working lots of hours at the gym, but I will hopefully be able to find a little time to post more often.

The past couple of months while training for this marathon, I learned a few things about my running preferences.  Most of my long runs this summer were done with friends - at least one running buddy and often there were several of us.  All of my best running friends run at a pace faster than me.  That means that they have to slow a little and I have to go faster.  I know that sometimes it can be very helpful to run with people who are faster, but going at a pace faster than what feels comfortable to me just seems to take so much more out of me physically.  Then my recovery is longer and I am more apt to feel burned out.  In between my runs with friends, I would run alone, at my own pace, lost in my own thoughts.  I always finished those runs feeling content.  While running with friends is great for the camaraderie, and often the time goes by much more quickly, running really is a solitary sport.  It's so hard not to compare ourselves with everyone around us, and I spent a few days after the marathon lamenting about how I was the slowest one in our group, despite the fact that I've run so many marathons now, and how lame I am, blah, blah, blah...but after I let myself wallow in self-pity for a bit, I came around.  I realize that in the end, it doesn't matter how fast I am.  There will always be someone faster, always someone slower.  And who cares anyway?  I'm not running to break any records.  It's fun to get a personal record, but in my mind, if I'm not enjoying running, I might as well do something else.

Marathon recovery update.

I've heard of people taking one or two weeks off from exercise (and running) after a marathon.  Alas, I'm not one of those people...for better or for worse.  Last Sunday (the day after), I rested.  We slept in a little bit, went to church with our friends, then spent the rest of the day traveling back home, unpacking and getting ready for the new week.

On Monday, I was back at the gym - about 40 minutes of strength training followed by a spin class.  Spinning felt okay, but while I was lifting I could definitely feel that my muscles were depleted and weak.  On Tuesday, once again I did some strength training and hit up another spin class.  Still a little tired and sore, but not too terrible.  Wednesday I worked my biceps and triceps for an hour, then did 45 minutes on a stair stepper.  Thursday, I walked on a treadmill for 45 minutes before taking a Muscle Fusion X class.  Friday, another strength training session followed by a spin class.

So, after 5 days of strength training and miscellaneous cardio workouts, I decided it was time to hit the road again.  Saturday morning I slept in again, hoping to recoup a little of my strength, then I took my youngest with me to the park where he played while I ran.  I did 5 miles and my hamstrings and quads were very tight the whole time.

Yesterday (Sunday) was another rest day, but this morning I was back at it with my own little Memorial Day workout.  First, I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD, then I took all of the kids with me to the park - again, they played while I ran.  Today I did 8 miles...barely.  Always so much tension and pain in my hamstrings and glutes - it's very frustrating.  But, at least I did something.  Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym early in the morning to do my weights and take a spin class, but I'm not sure what the rest of the week has in store.  We might be going camping for a few days, since Chris had to work today, but he has the next 3 days off.  While we're gone, I'm pretty sure running will be the only thing I will be able to do to get a workout in, so that's probably what I'll be doing.  I also have some resistance bands I can use to do a little strength training.  It looks like I might not start a new training schedule with Misty until a little later, but I did sign up for the Pocatello Marathon, which is just 14 weeks away.  So it appears I am back in marathon training mode already. :)

Ogden Marathon 2013...marathons really are like childbirth.

Long, hard, painful, emotional.  Then within a few hours of finishing, you forget all that and are ready to do it again!

I stopped checking the weather forecast at some point on Thursday, when it kept calling for a rainy day on Saturday.  It didn't matter anyway.  I was going to run my race no matter what.  Thursday evening we made the 2 1/2 hour drive down to Salt Lake City, making a stop in Ogden on the way to pick up our race packets.  Friday we spent the day with our friends, visiting, shopping at Wasatch Running Center and then having a great pre-race meal at a quaint little local pizza and pasta place.  I was in bed by 8:30pm on Friday night with a full belly and an anxious mind.

I woke up at 12:30 and tossed and turned until about 1:30am, only to be woken at 2:30 by my obnoxious alarm.  We had to be at the shuttles by about 4:30am and it was an hour drive to get there.  After I got dressed and ready, I went downstairs where I found out that my race companion Marsden had come down with a nasty virus and was feeling miserable.  He wasn't sure he was going to run, but we loaded up in the car and started the trip to the shuttles.  As we were on the freeway, the rain started pouring down.  Marsden's friend was driving us, and together they decided it might be worth risking driving up to the starting line area on our own, rather than taking the shuttles.  While it is pretty much a race no-no, it saved us from having to stand out in the rain for over 2 hours waiting.  We took the risk that there would be race officials or police at the turn that goes up the canyon to the race start telling us to turn around, and as luck would have it, we were able to make the turn and went up to the start and parked the car and waited...and waited....

At 6:30am I got out of the car and hopped into a port-a-potty line with a billion other runners.  I finished with  about 5 minutes to spare.  It wasn't until that last minute that Marsden made the decision to at least start the run with me.  As the race began at 7:15am, the rain was still coming down pretty good, but the positive energy from the thousands of runners was keeping us all pumped.  The first few miles went by quickly, though my hamstrings tightened up almost immediately.  And even though I had made use of the P-o-P's at the starting line area, about 3 or 4 miles in I was feeling like I needed to make another pit-stop.  Every time we passed more P-o-P's though, there was a line and I would put it off thinking that I would stop at the next aid station. I kept running, despite having a few stomach cramps and feeling a little "off".

Finally at the half-way point, there were enough potties that I didn't have to wait in line, so I stopped.  While I felt better after the stop, it cost me some time.  My clothes were so soaked that I had some trouble getting things back in "place".  I didn't want to start running again until I had everything properly situated and comfortable.  Well, as comfortable as I could get, being completely drenched head to toe.

After the half-way point, we took off again.  Marsden, who had seriously considered dropping out then because he was so cold and wet, had luckily come across a warmer jacket that someone had tossed to the side of the road under a tent near an aid-station.  Having a dry jacket to put on made all the difference for him and he was able to continue on with the race.

With every step I could feel my feet squishing in my shoes and I knew I was getting blisters on both of my feet.  I tried not to think about that though, and just focused on keeping a steady pace.  Right up until about 20 miles we were able to maintain a consistent pace of right around 10:20-10:30 min/mile, and that's including taking a 1 minute walk break after every 5 minutes of running.  The last 6.2 miles were almost completely downhill...steep downhill...as we ran through Ogden Canyon.  That downhill really kills the quads and the knees, even though it feels good to have help keeping the momentum going through gravity!  Due to the pain in my legs, especially my knees, my pace slowed a little.  And I honestly, I was so over the stupid rain!!  For over 4 hours we had not had a single break from the wetness.  Not even a few minutes to dry out a little.  Blah.  As we made the very last turn and had about a mile left in the race, I finally felt a glimmer.  The sun came out ever so briefly and there was a break in the rain.  We skipped our last walking break and took it home to the finish line.  Inside I felt like crying, my legs were hurting so badly, but I held it in and just kept telling myself that the pain was only temporary.  I knew that if I allowed myself to let up at all, I would regret it later.  Those last few miles are what makes marathons so very difficult.  The body hurts, the muscles are out of fuel and tired and the mind is intuitively telling you to stop.  You have to force yourself to change your thoughts and ignore the pain long enough to keep going and finish.  It never gets any easier, but there's nothing like the satisfaction you feel when you finish.

My official chip time was 4:49.  And unfortunately we didn't get many pictures along the course this time.  Hopefully I can get my hands on the few that Marsden's friend took for us and there may also be a few coming later from the course photographers.

Today I am limping around a bit on incredibly sore legs and lots of blisters on my feet...but still, oh-so-happy. :)

Tales of the taper and something new on the horizon.

I have a few minutes while I wait for my kids to get out of school and we leave Idaho and head for Utah and my marathon race weekend!  I thought I'd use those spare minutes to update my blog, since it's been a few days. :)

Typically for marathon runners, the taper period leading up to a race tends to be a mixed bag of feelings and emotions.  Through each of my 5 other marathons, I have tried different things during my taper, from running everyday (even just a mile or two) right up until the day before the race, to taking the entire week off from all exercise.  While it is hard for me to not do anything for so many days - at least, fitness wise - I have found that my best race performances came when I allowed my body to rest for at least 4 or 5 days prior to the big day.

So for the past week, I have kept things low-key.  I went to a spinning class on Monday afternoon and then another on Tuesday morning, but that's all I've done this week.  I didn't lift any weights or run stairs or go to Muscle Fusion or do any running.  Normally this lack of exercise would trouble me and cause a shift in my eating habits as well.  But as I am starting to get the hang of this marathon training thing, I've also come to realize that I won't get fat or gain (much) weight if I cut out exercise for one week and continue to eat healthy amounts of food.

I've acknowledged that this taper period should be embraced as a pre-race reward for all the hard training that has been put in and it should be savored.  Somehow I have managed to stay pretty much stress-free this week as I've rested my body, drank lots and lots of water and eaten tons of good food - including a few times at my favorite restaurants.  Why not?  I know that come Monday morning, I'll be right back at my routine of going to the gym and getting in some miles on the road, and keeping my diet clean and tight, so I might as well make the most of this change in routine, right?

So my race is Saturday morning and we always make a weekend trip out of this marathon.  We have some friends that we stay with in Salt Lake City and the kids get to spend time swimming in their pool and playing around while we visit, shop, and eat with the adults.  It's always a fun weekend.

My goals for this race are a little different than they have been for past races.  I didn't want to set my mind to achieving a PR because my training was a little helter-skelter this time around.  I did get a couple of 20 milers in during training, but because of my back injury, bad weather and some other issues, I didn't get in as many miles overall as I have in the past.  And I'm not sure how much it will help me that I've spent the last 26 weeks working with my trainer on building muscle and shifting my fitness focus somewhat.  In some ways I think I am stronger, but I'm not sure yet how that will translate when it comes to running a marathon.  My last marathon was 9 months ago and it was a great race for me.  I'm hoping to channel some of the positive emotion I have associated with that day into my race this Saturday morning.  But in the end, my main goal is to finish the race with a smile on my face and to enjoy the time I get to spend on the beautiful course through Ogden Canyon with my amazing friend and running buddy, Marsden.  As long as that happens, we will have won the day.

Next week things in my life will start taking all kinds of new twists and turns.  It's the kids' last week of school before being out for summer vacation, I will be starting a new training routine with Misty that will include some (certain death) circuits, and there's the possibility of another very big change coming....you'll have to check back in later to find out more about that one!! Haha!  See you on the flip-side of marathon #6!!

13.1 mile training run.

I did my last long training run before the marathon on Saturday with my running buddy, Lisa.  We ran our favorite route: Buckskin Road from Pocatello down into Inkom.  Lisa is on a different training schedule than me because the marathon she is currently training for is 2 weeks after the one I am doing.  So, she needed to do a 20 miler and I only wanted to do 12 or 13.  We ran together until we got back to my house, at which point I had gotten in about 13.1 miles.  Lisa kept running from there until she finished her 20.

It was a sunny but cool day, despite how hot and sweaty we both look in the above photo.  But this is the kind of running weather I have been longing for all winter.   It's been so nice to be able to get out and get some sun.  In fact, it was such a beautiful day last Thursday, that I skipped my usual day at the gym (treadmill run and Muscle Fusion X) and hit the road for a 10 mile run instead.  I'm not sure that was the best idea for my legs, but it sure helped give a positive boost to my psyche.  Normally when I run the Buckskin route with Lisa, I can cruise through the first 7 or 8 miles at my fastest pace because it's mostly downhill.  But Saturday, because my legs were already feeling fatigued, I was a little slower and more stiff.  My hamstrings (of course) were especially tight.  I finished the 13.1 miles with an average pace of around 10:20 min/mile, which is still pretty decent for me, but I was wiped out at the end.

After a 45-mile week, I'm feeling ready to start my taper now.  This week I plan to do my normal daily workouts, leading up to a medium length run on Saturday - maybe 9 or 10 miles.  Then I will jump into "rest mode" for the full week heading up to the marathon.  The one thing I learned from running the Pocatello Marathon last fall (and achieving my PR of 4:36) was that allowing my body to fully rest for at least a week before is crucial to feeling fully fueled and ready on race day.  I know I was also a lot more careful with what I ate, so I plan to be a little more strict with myself for the next 2 weeks and focus on getting lots of healthy, complex carbs and protein.  I'm really hoping that doing those things will offset some of the trials I've had during this training season and allow me to have a great race.

Last 20 miler and taper.

Finally, a beyond perfect day for running long!  Saturday morning my friend Lisa and I started out at the top of Buckskin Road in Pocatello and ran a mostly downhill route that took us back towards my house in Inkom.  The sun was shining and the the temperatures were cool, but perfect ~ 40's when we started.  There were a gazillion runners out there working their way down Buckskin, and who could blame them?  By the time we reached my house, we had gone a little over 15 miles.  Lisa needed to be finished, so I drove her back to her car then came back home and set out on my own to do another 5 miles.

When all was said and done, I did a tad over 20 miles with an average pace of 10:18 min/mile.  I got a little sunburned and a nice, big blister on one of my toes, but I felt it was a great run to peak my marathon training.    In the past, I have done runs up to and over the full marathon distance during training, but considering the issues I've had with my back, I am feeling good having done 2 good 20 milers and several 4-hour cardio sessions that mixed running with spinning, etc.  With the marathon 3 weeks away, I will start my taper.  This weekend my long run will be 12-13 miles, then the next week I'll bring it down to 8 or 9, then the Saturday after that it will be race day!

14.5 miles in the rain.

It's been another week of erratic weather: sun one minute, rain and wind the next.  Yesterday I had planned to do a long run of about 20 miles with my running buddy, Lisa.  After it had rained all night and was still pouring at 6 am when we were planning to go, we agreed that a run of that distance in the rain just wasn't something either of us wanted to do.  So instead, I went to the gym with my husband where I did a spin class.  I took my running gear with me and figured that by the time the hour-long class was over, there was a possibility that the rain may have cleared up enough for me to run home from the gym.  After class, I changed out of my sweat-soaked clothes into my running outfit, then took off for the long run home of 14.5 miles.

It was still really windy and raining, but the temperature wasn't too bad at around 45 degrees so I figured I could handle a little rain.  My run was a tad on the slow side, as I battled a head wind and tired legs right from the start.  My hamstrings and back were bothering me too, but I was determined to continue with my "push through anything to get it done" attitude.  There were moments during my run that the sun would shine briefly through the clouds, and those moments were just enough to keep the enjoyment level up on my run and helped me make it all the way home.

The rest of the day I nursed sore, achy and cramping legs, but today I'm feeling a lot better - except for my back. :(  One month until the marathon and I'm really hoping for some great weather next weekend.  I'd like to get in at least two more 20+ milers before I taper.

If not, I will just do my best with where I'm at when the day comes.  I had a wonderful phone conversation with the friend I will be running the Ogden Marathon with in May.  He was supposed to run the Boston Marathon last Monday, but decided not to run it at the last minute because he'd been sick and was still recovering.  We agreed that at this point in our lives, our focus should be on enjoying the long run and the opportunity to spend time together.  Neither of us is going for a PR on this one, as we've both been dealt a few stumbling blocks during our training the past few months.  Taking the pressure off helps me look forward to this marathon with a renewed sense of excitement.

Running: it's more heart than legs.

Lately I've been contemplating what drives some of us to run for recreation, and more particularly, to run long distances.  I've come to realize that in order for someone to be willing to put their body through the tough physical demands and mental and emotional frustration that often comes with long hours of training, there must be a unique desire to achieve something greater than what has yet been achieved.  For most dedicated runners, it's more about the intrinsic rewards received than it is about making physical changes to the body or just getting in a little exercise.  Sometimes those feelings of satisfaction come from an individual run, sometimes they come from a season of training that culminates in a race.

I feel I've been somewhat sidelined during my training for this marathon.  My focus has been a little blurry, my thoughts a little scattered.  For a time I became distracted with various other goals, some of which conflicted with a hard-lined marathon training plan.  When I was forced to deal with a back injury a few of weeks ago, I started to feel even more discouraged and my love of running waned.

On Saturday, despite the fact that at most I had run 6 miles at once for almost 2 weeks, I decided it was time for me to go long.  I put a few new songs on my mp3 player, geared up and hit the road at 6:30 am.  For the first 15 miles, I ran alone.  The weather was fairly calm: 45 degrees, mild winds.  I breathed deeply, ran easy, and soaked in the mountain air and sky around me.  I thought about how much I used to love getting out for a nice, long run on my own.  I never really cared much how fast I went.  I just went.  Around mile 13, I started to feel a few drops of rain and the wind starting to pick up.  I called my friend and trainer, Misty, who was planning to join me for the last few miles of my run.  I let her know it was starting to rain, but she didn't care.  She met up with me as I reached mile 15 and together we ran the last 5 miles, rain blowing sideways, pelting our faces as we tried to carry on a conversation.  When we reached our destination (the gym, which was at 20 miles total for me), we were both drenched and my legs were completely fatigued, but then I looked at my 6 months pregnant friend with her post-run glow, dripping wet hair and giant smile on her face, and I heard her say, "I love running in the rain!"  I was flooded with those familiar feelings of gratification.  I had run 20 miles, and I felt surprisingly great.  As she and I stood in the hallway near the weight room where my husband was working out, she said something to Chris about how wet, cold and tired I must be after running so far, to which he lovingly replied, "She brings it on herself!"

Yep, that's right.  And now I remember why.  Now I remember why I love running so far and so long that it feels as though my legs may give out at any moment.  I cling self-righteously to my reasons for giving myself black toenails, hamstring and calf twitches, ravenous hunger pangs, wind and sunburned skin (some days!), blisters and potential cramping in pretty much any, unpredictable part of my body ~ I love to run long!  There really is nothing else that compares with the feeling of accomplishment after keeping your legs on the move for so many miles...and the motivation comes from the heart.

In response to the horrific tragedy that occurred at the Boston Marathon on Monday, I have seen a lot of posts on Facebook showing support and offering condolences to the runners, victims and their family and friends.  One of quotes that stands out to me the most was one that said, "If you're trying to defeat the human spirit, marathoners are the wrong group to target."  Well put.  In the end, we will all run on.

Let the refiner's fire burn...

Hello to all my friends in the blogging world.  In case you were wondering, I am still alive, though bogged down with so many things...reasons why I haven't posted on here in a while.  I was recently explaining to my husband that I haven't been blogging because my mind is a flood of thoughts and feelings lately and every time I try to sit and write about it, I have a hard time forming coherent sentences.  His response?  That's exactly what I should be blogging about.  After all, he reminded me, I am training for a marathon and there may be some support to be had by sharing this process with my fellow runners/bloggers.

So here are some of the issues weighing on me that have been affecting my training:

• The weather.  Well, that's a given in any serious runner's life.  Like a carrot hanging from a string 10 feet in front of me, Mother Nature has thrown a few nice days at us - 40 degrees or higher, sunshine, dry roads - and then like the tricky, deceptive enigma that she is, she dealt us more snow, hail, rain, wind and cold temperatures.  Sometimes I think training for a spring marathon is for the birds.
• Fighting a virus.  I haven't gotten sick in a long, long time.  Not this sick.  I picked up a nasty head/chest cold and it has totally kicked my butt.  Lasted over two weeks.  I'm still not feeling 100%.  It sucks the life right out of ya.
• Increase in mileage = injuries and shaken confidence.  As I'm getting closer to the marathon (8 weeks out now), I've been adding longer runs and running more days per week.  After spending the previous 12 or 13 weeks focusing on my strength training and reducing my running, this increase has really taken a toll.  First, my hamstrings started acting up so every long run has become more and more painful.  This makes me wonder how I ever ran a marathon before.  On my last long run, which was 17 miles, my legs were hurting so badly that I had to rely completely on my mental strength to make it through the last 6 or 7 miles.  And now I'm having serious pain in my back.  As an old herniated disc has decided to flare up and give me problems, I have had to stop running altogether. :(
• Balancing personal life with training. When things are peaceful in our home, it's a lot easier to focus on my training.  The past couple of months things haven't been peachy-keen within our family dynamics, which makes me feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster.  I feel like I'm being self-centered when I focus on my training with the intensity that I am used to.  Sometimes there are other, more important things that take our attention away.  But that means my training suffers.

So here I am, trying to relax after a day of rest, thinking about my upcoming week of training and wondering how I'm going to go about allowing my back to heal without going completely crazy.  I've been doing some swimming instead of running, and I've found that the elliptical and spinning don't bother it too much, but none of those things are the greatest substitute for those long runs I need to get in before May 18th.  I just ordered one of those aqua-jogger belts and I'm going to give running in water a try.  Not sure how I'll stay entertained for a couple of hours at a time while I basically run in place in the pool, though.  Sounds very boring, but from what I've read, it is actually a really good way to maintain long distance running fitness levels.

I also will have to adjust and modify my weight training exercises.  For instance, barbell squats are out, as are bent over long bar rows and front raises.  I also have lots of pain doing pretty much all of my ab exercises.  This sucks.

On a positive note, though...I had a fitness assessment with Misty last Wednesday where I learned I am now just over 19% body fat and it feels pretty dang awesome to be in the 'teens!  Misty has helped me fine tune my nutrition plan and apparently we're having some success achieving the right balance of fueling all of my workouts while maintaining a small calorie deficit to accelerate fat loss.  I'm at about 2000 calories a day, I eat 6-7 smallish meals, all consisting of a lean protein and a complex carbohydrate.  Lots of turkey, sweet potatoes, cottage cheese, veggies, oats, berries and protein powder. :)

Another highlight came when I was doing my weekly pull-ups.  I was using a new spotter - a guy working in the the weight room unfamiliar with the way I usually do them.  He didn't give me much "help" when I did my first few pull-ups and I basically did them all by myself.  That was on Monday.  I was sore in my lats the rest of the week. :)

I guess what I'm struggling with the most is the mental aspect of coming to terms with the idea that this might not be my best race.  With each of the 5 other marathons I've done, I improved with each - some I made a lot of improvement.  I honestly can't say I've ever had a "bad" race experience.  I've read about other runner's racing experiences and there are always good races and bad races, and I could never imagine a race being bad.  Now I'm not saying that I'm anticipating that this marathon will turn out that way.  Of course I'm hoping for the best possible outcome - a beautiful, sunny day, me feeling well-trained, rested and ready to go on race day, injury-free.  I'm also trying to prepare myself to accept any outcome, knowing that some things are out of my control.  Luckily I still have 8 weeks to whip my body and my attitude back into shape.

When the refiner's fire threatens to burn and turn us to ash, perseverance, persistence and patience will pull us out stronger, renewed in heart, body, mind and spirit.  That, and a much needed vacation alone with my husband that we have planned for the first week in April when the kids are on their spring break and can spend a few days with their grandparents.  We've been married almost 14 years and we've never gone away, just the two of us, since our first child was born 13 years ago.  It's been a long time coming and I can't wait... :)

Weekly update.

I don't know how I let so many days slip by before I remember I need to blog about life...before it's all forgotten.  Anyway, the past week was sort of a blur to me, for various reasons, but I did accomplish quite a bit with regards to my training plan.

Last Thursday I completed a 5 mile interval run before going to another awesome Muscle Fusion X class.  Friday I did my typical routine: chest and abs workout followed by spin class.  On Saturday I finally got a chance to run with my friend, Lisa.  The weather cooperated enough that we were able to do a 12.3 mile run  on one of our favorite (downhill) routes, which made for a great time: 9:30 min/mile pace with walking breaks.  I was annoyed that my tired, strained legs made it so we couldn't go a little further, as I had initially wanted, but I still felt like it was a good, long run.  Afterwards, Chris and I went to the gym before going to the grocery store and I was able to spend about 30-40 minutes doing some ab work.

Sunday I rested and felt much better by Monday morning.  I began the day with a 6 mile out and back run after dropping the kids at school.  The sun was shining again so I didn't mind the frigid temperatures quite as much as I usually do.  After my run I showered and then Chris and I went to the gym.  I did my back/abs workout then went to spin class, where we did intervals.  It felt particularly tough to spin on tired legs, but the great thing?  I'm pretty sure I burned about 800 calories in that class!

Monday evening as I started to feel the twinge of a sore throat and stuffy nose coming on, I got a text from my trainer Misty saying she and some other people were going to be doing stairs at the stadium on Tuesday, so I opted to switch up my schedule a bit so I could join them.  When I woke up I felt like crap, but I knew I would feel better after a workout.  First, I went to the gym and did my leg/shoulder routine, which took me about an hour and 20 minutes.  Again, not the smartest thing to do a leg workout before going to run stairs, but in the end it all makes for a good challenge, right?  Once at the stadium, I put in my headphones and got busy running up and down.  After a few minutes, I realized my cheap-o mp3 player was stuck on one song.  As I kept running and tried not to trip and kill myself, I messed with it but couldn't get it to do anything but play the same song over and over again.  One hour later and I had Heart Attack by Trey Songz memorized, and I think it's time to replace my mp3 player. :(

Today I still feel pretty yucky, but I've been loading up on the fresh vegetable juice and apple cider vinegar shots and I can tell my body is starting to kick it.  I was scheduled to do a 7 mile run today, but instead I went to the gym and had an assessment with Misty where we spent a good amount of time going over my schedule and making a few minor adjustments.  I've been feeling especially tired and losing my focus and Misty was worried I might be over-training, which is really counter-productive.  Hopefully with the changes we made to my training and my nutrition plan, I'll get back on track...especially after I get completely over this head-cold.  After finishing up my time with Misty, I went to the weight room and did my bicep/tricep/calf workout.

When I came home this afternoon, the wind was blowing pretty fiercely, but the thermometer said it was 50 degrees.  I put on a light jacket and headed to the walking park, but after just a mile and a half, I realized that the wind was making it way too cold for me and my runny nose, so I went home and did a yoga video instead.  Hopefully tonight I'll be able to finally get some sleep and hit the ground running tomorrow - literally - interval run and Muscle Fusion X!! :)

A new favorite thing...

Before I tell you about my new favorite thing, let me tell you about my workouts the past couple of days...

Yesterday I was scheduled to do a 6 mile run plus my weights.  Since it was in the single digits again in the morning, I decided to just do my run on a treadmill at the gym.  But first, I did my strength training: legs and shoulders.  Tuesday's workout is a tough one.  I have 11 exercises to do and any time you work legs, it's much more exhausting than any other lifting.  After I finished my legs and shoulders, I got on a treadmill and ran for an hour.  I didn't quite make it 6 miles because I took a few walking breaks, but almost.

Today I had my bicep/tricep/calves workout.  I went to the gym alone today, since Chris is on night-shift now and had worked late and was too tired to get up and go early with me.  It took me a little over an hour to do my weights, then I moved on to cardio...which brings me to my new favorite thing: running stairs at the stadium!!  It's kind of serene there.  The lights are dim, there are few, if any, other people around and I can just put on my music and focus on nothing else but getting up and down those stairs.  I ran for a little over 50 minutes and made it through the stadium 3 times.  I felt I had a little more stamina than last week, and not quite as much quivering in my calves.  We'll see how I feel tomorrow...